After a week of doing nothing but being the person I never thought I’d ever be…

I’ve never been the kind of girl who turns to emotional eating, sappy love song playlists, excessive cyber-stalking, and not to mention idleness after a breakup… not that I’ve been through a breakup before… but hey, there’s a first time for everything, right? This is so fucking silly. I’ve never cried over a boy (not just any boy, I know he’s utterly special!) before, so why now, why now?! I don’t know but it feels like I’m being more depressed now than 6 months back when my mom passed away. But when I lost my mom, I did everything I could to prevent grief from turning into depression. Perhaps I just can’t handle the loss of so many loved ones in such a short period of time. People just disappear from my life. Last night, daddy woke me up because I’d slept on chocolate leftovers in my bed after a binge session. Trop bizarre, non? I guess that sometimes things are just too good to be true (says someone who’s always pushed love away). Ok, albeit somewhat disconnected right now, give me another week and I promise that I’ll revive that strong inner self I know exists in me, because that’s the kind of gal I am. Peace out!


amlul: to listen

Romy Schneider in Paris, 1960

richard neutra… coe house, rolling hills ca (1951)photo by julius shulman @ primo

"Concentrate on what you are doing. No distractions. Center yourself. This is your time.”