Oslo guide

Some of you have asked if I could create an Oslo guide. I figured that I should make one on Foursquare, so here’s an ongoing guide to my city!

Let’s cut the crap with this one.

Anonymous said: did you ever deal with a heartbreak and how did you deal with it ? I don't know how to deal with mine right now. :(

Funny that you’re asking as the timing is so spot on… my heart is completely crushed right now and I feel so helpless and out of my mind. I suppose you’re talking about heartbreaks caused by breakups, am I right? Because it truly broke my heart when my mom passed away. I know that I’ll eventually learn to live with the fact that she’s never coming back as she’s in a much better place now but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over my mom’s death – and truth be told, I don’t expect that either. 

However, it’s different when someone you really care about, who’s still alive, breaks your heart into 1000 pieces and throws them on the floor like an unfinished puzzle for you to solve on your own. I thought I’d had my heart broken before by guys I kind of “dated” but that was seriously NOTHING – I wouldn’t even call them heartbreaks – compared to the painful heartache I’m unable to overcome these days. Perhaps it’s because the person who I hold responsible for crushing my heart was my first real boyfriend who gave me lots of (false) hope. And it hurts that we weren’t even together long enough to discover each other’s idiosyncrasies and whatnot. Or perhaps it’s because this breakup only added up to what I’m going through with my mom’s death and everything, as it happened not a long time after I lost both my mom and dog within the span of three weeks, which is indeed too much for a heart to handle. Maybe I’m lovesick, hurt, and heartbroken because I feel completely abandoned. Unwanted. I’ve lost faith in love, myself, and people. And trust me, I’m guilty of desperately using Google as my shrink every day but I have yet to find answers as to how I can conquer this heartbreak. Listening to Al Green’s “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?” or Françoise Hardy’s “Tous Les Garçons et les Filles” won’t do the trick at all. Solange’s “Losing You” will only add some melody to your heartbreak. So please do yourself a massive favor and steer clear of sad love songs. Listen to some deep house without vocals and don’t even think about listening to Jhene Aiko, pretty please. And for what it’s worth, writing passive aggressive tweets isn’t helping either.

When my mom passed away, I ran away to California just a few days after the funeral so as to avoid dealing with the grief. When I came back from my trip, I went straight to university and kept myself busy all the time. Like the genius I am, I thought that running away would work this time too. So I did the same thing last month – ran away to California and London and had such a great time. The perennial Californian sunshine, the vibrant atmosphere in the cities, and the epiphanies I had in the shower were convincing enough to make me believe that my heart had healed from the breakup. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that running away is by no means a problem solver. It’s like tripping on molly. The first time is amazing but you’ll never be able to recreate your first trip. And the comedown is only a sample of how your next days, weeks, or perhaps even months are going to be like – way below the starting point. What a waste, right? Prolonged severe post-travel blues blabla… So… what I’m trying to say is that running away is not a long-term solution.

I also tried keeping myself occupied with work, school, new projects, blogging, writing, and whatnot. Alas, seeing my ex’s name everywhere online, and sometimes on my phone like a missed call or a snap, only prevented me from moving on. I wanted to stop thinking of him constantly; stop missing him like crazy. Yep, I decided that it was about time to move on and stop hoping that we’d ever get back together, because he’s the one who let me go and what are the odds of a dumper wanting dumpee back anyway? Every single notification from him gave me and still gives me serious panic attacks or heart palpitations as the emotions are obviously still there. I can’t undo the past. In the long run I ended up in a psychiatrist’s office because, among other things, I can’t handle the heartbreak and its consequences. I’ve completely cut all ties with the ex so as to see if it accelerates the process of moving on. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Anyhow, there’s no escape for a heart crushed as mine has been. Maybe time’s the only solution? 

I’m sorry to hear that you’re heartbroken. I don’t know how to deal with my heartbreak either. Today I told my one of my best friends, who’s in a happy relationship, that I hope she’ll never have to go through a heartbreak because it’s just awful. Feels like it’s killing me. If there is a cure for heartbreaks, I’d like to try it. 

To answer your question: http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-a-Heartbreak so far, not so good. I’ll let time heal the bleeding wounds instead of pouring hydrogen peroxide on them. I really, really hope you’ll feel much better soon!


Jean-Pierre Léaud photographed by Heinz Köster at the 1966 Berlin International Film Festival, holding the Silver Bear for Best Actor that he received for Masculin féminin

Editorial Harper’s Bazaar China (October 2013)
Martha Argerich and Charles Dutoit. My #1 favorite pianist.